Thanks to the Uncyclopedia, I present for your edification and education a selection of the Un-history happenings for today:
On this day... September 24:
3000 BC - Greek philosopher Atheises founds the Order of Dyslexic Atheists and declares as its motto "Ehert isi thaer no doG!"
1541 - Paracelsus, Swiss alchemist, passes away after being drained by a bitter rivalry with the alchemist Parafahrenheit.
1789 - United States History: the position of Attorney General is established, to act as general over the army of attorneys raised during the Revolutionary War.
1906 - U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt proclaims Devils Tower the nation's first National Monument after obsessively sculpting the rock formation in mashed potatoes.
1939 - Adolf Hitler gets into a hedge dispute with his Polish nieghbour.
1960 - Chuck Norris hires a Vietnamese plumber. Vietnam is still recovering.
1993 - Karl Marx personal diaries discovered, Marxism apparently was just a wind up to bug the Americans.
2003 - George Bush declares war on Legoland
2007 - The last day of Adventalo, the gathering of millions of nerds awaiting the coming of the chiefus christ
2008 - War Vetran, Big Bird commited suicide after recieving hate mail for accidentally sinking china when he flushed the toilet
2009 - All 8 followers of the new found religion Walmartism are sentanced to death after reports of attacks on rivalry gangs The " Food Lion Ellite"
2010 - United States of America takes over Japan Renaming it Coca Cola
2020 - Michael Jackson becomes the first man to clone himself
2021 - Michael Jackson becomes the first man to sexually assault himself
2022 - Michael Jackson sues himself for sexual assault and wins. He celebrates by sexually assaulting himself again.
2351 - Walmart declares war on Islam. Millions die.
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